Monday, December 5, 2011

It's a little bittersweet

I know I should be grateful for this amazing trip that my parents gave me. 28 days in Hawaii with my sweet boy is just a dream for some people. And, I am very grateful for the experience. But, every day we are here makes me realize more and more how sad I am for Aidenn.

You may think its awesome to have parents that live in Hawaii. And, it is. It's a beautiful place to visit. But, really, how often do they really think they are going to see their grandson? After next month, A has to have a plane ticket. So, it's a $2000 trip just for the flight. That doesn't include any extras.

My mom and I were talking one night and she is totally ok with seeing him only once a year. She said that she only saw her grandparents once a year so why would this be any different! Really? It makes my heart hurt for my sweet boy. And, during that once a year, they won't even change up their schedule. I mean, for the most part, A and I do our own things in the morning because even on their days off they aren't up til 10. So, we go to the beach for a couple hours because we are up at 5 or 6 and i can't keep Him quiet so they can sleep. And by the time they are ready to go do something, we are back and A is napping. They really don't get to see him until 3 or 4 pm those days.

I didn't expect them to stay in Asheville forever. But, I guess I also didn't expect them to move to Hawaii. Not just Hawaii, but they actually live on the farthest west in the country. It is closer for them to go to Japan, Australia, and Asia than it is to come to the east coast. It is closer for me to go to Europe than to come here.

Plus, Aidenn will probably grow up not knowing the majority of my family. I mean, we aren't close. So, now that we will never be at the parents' house at the same time, I really don't think we will see each other all that much. Maybe for big events, like weddings or funerals. But, other than that, probably nothing.

So, I know I should be savoring every moment here. But, I am really just sad because Aidenn is loving being with his Mimi and Saba. And, I honestly can't even think that he might not see them for an entire year. And, unlike them, I'm not ok with that, but I also can't do much about it.