Thursday, March 31, 2011

When Oh When?

Everyone says the first year is the worst with illnesses.  That, with daycare and being exposed to anything and everything, he will catch everything that is even remotely close to him.

Well, so far, we haven't caught anything from daycare at all.  Yeah, there's the occasional common cold, but I'm sure I bring home more germs that he has picked up from daycare.  But, his ears are going to be the death of me.

I feel like I've been to the doctor every week lately.  In January, he got an ear infection, so we started an antibiotic.  About 2 weeks later, in February, it was RSV.  His ears weren't 100% better, but they decided that worrying about the RSV was a little more important at the time.  Mid March, another ear infection.  Another antibiotic and another 10 days of trying to get him to take it.  Then, 2 weeks later, back to the doctor because he's pulling at his ears or walking around the house saying "Ow" and pushing on his ear.  See the trend here?

Well, they said his ears were fine and prescribe him some Claritin for allergies since the Zyrtec isn't working.  Really?  After 8 months of this, it's time for a 2nd and 3rd opinion.  We had our appointment at the ENT's office today.  It wasn't so great.  His right ear is still really red and he thinks there is some fluid in it.  For this, we are on a much stronger antibiotic for 31 days!  And, it's going to most likely cause diarrhea.  Great, just what I need.

In 5 weeks, we have to go back to the ENT for a hearing test, a tympanogram, and another check up.  If we don't start moving in the right direction, my poor sweet boy will be getting tubes.

Next week, we are going to the allergist to have some allergy testing done and see if we can get the allergies under control.

Maybe, just maybe, after a month of antibiotics, some new allergy meds, and tons of doctors appointments, we can get over all this sickness!  Really considering picking up and moving to the beach tomorrow to make it all better.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

First Words

First words are so exciting.  Aidenn is currently saying a couple things:  mama, dada, more, and that.

Today, I picked him up from daycare, and he comes up to me and is pointing and saying "that".  I had no clue what he was pointing at.  It was a nod and smile moment.  Both his teachers just laughed....I guess they knew what was on his mind.  So, I'm getting his stuff together and he's still pointing.  I go over to where he is pointing at something, he looks up at the shelf, and says "bubble"!  And, yes, he was pointing at the bubbles!

Every new word is just an amazing thing.  I wish I could remember how proud of him that one simple word made me in 10-15 years when he is getting in trouble.  To just be able to think back to that moment today and how happy I was to hear the word bubble.  There's nothing like it.

He's also just so smart.  Yesterday he didn't know the sign for hungry.  So, instead, he improvised.  He pointed to his tummy, did the sign for more, and then pointed to his mouth.  I couldn't believe it, because he actually figured out a way to tell me.  We will definitely working on the sign for hungry next, though.

On another note, I have an interview tomorrow.  This interview will basically make my decision as to if I stay in Asheville or not.  I am not making any money here at all, so this will be a huge decision.  After rent, daycare, and babysitter, I only have about $100 a month.  This new job will give me another $3/hr, plus a set schedule, plus more opportunity to grow.  I have been pretty much guaranteed this job by the director, but I have to get through the manager first.  So, wish me lots of luck.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Mommies Network's "Only Fools Text and Drive" Day

This April Fools’ Day, The Mommies Network would like national community support in making it an official “Only Fools Text and Drive Day”. By launching a video where children tell parents how they feel about texting and driving, and passing it along through their 25,000+ members nationwide, they intend to do just that. To pass along the message that “Texting and Driving is For Fools”, the video encourages everyone to drive with their headlights on April 1, 2011.
Watch the video below and share it with your friends and family as a reminder not to text and drive!
Vlingo ( has partnered with The Mommies Network to bring you an application for hands-free texting, emailing, searching and more – view the video for details on how to get this app for FREE!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

PCOS.....or as I like to call it, HELL.

As of last week, I found out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).  What is this you may ask?  Well, I'll tell you.

Basically, there are three hormones in women:  estrogen, progesterone, and androgens.  During a normal month in a normal female, small fibers form on her ovaries.  When they reach 10 mm, the hormones cause these fibers to come off the ovaries, making ovulation happen.  In someone with PCOS, since her hormones are out of balance, the fibers don't come off the ovaries.  Also, because the fibers don't come off, the woman's eggs never mature.

Usually, this is caused by SOMETHING.  Insulin levels are too high.  Thyroid is not working.  Pituitary hormones are out of whack.  Something.

So, I go to the doctor last week because I have still not gotten a regular post partum period.  I have it for a month, go another 6 months, have it again, etc.  I have had 3 total in 14 months.  They draw lots and lots of labs.  Like, 7 tubes of blood.  Then, they did an ultrasound, which was so uncomfortable.  I have never had an internal ultrasound and I did not like it.  It hurt.

My labs came back perfect.  No issues with my thyroid, pituitary, glucose, insulin, nothing.  The only problem is that my FSH and LH levels are reversed, which is normal for PCOS.  Then we looked at my ultrasound, which apparently was absolutely horrible.  Like, he was in shock that I could have so many fibers on my ovaries.

What does that mean for me?  Well, since most people that have PCOS have a cause for it, they can take something to fix it.  Since all my labs are perfect, I have more issues than that.

Did I mention that I'm not going to ovulate on a regular basis.  So, if I want to have more kids (which, for anyone that knows me knows I do), it will be incredibly hard if not impossible.  Seriously.  I can't handle this. My doctor kept asking me if it was hard to get pregnant with Aidenn.  Honestly, although we weren't trying, I should have been pregnant way before I actually was.  So, I guess it was.  It took 5 years if you look at it that way.

I am crushed.  I want a little girl so bad.  I love having a boy, but I want a little girl to dress up in tutus, oversized flower headbands, and ballerina pink.  I am so upset that this is possibly never going to happen. I know that it's not 100% that I will not be able to have another baby, but it's in the 90 and above %s.  That's hard to take.  So hard.

So, if I've seemed sad, out of the ordinary, standoffish, etc, you now know why.  I am mourning the loss of a child that is nowhere near being brought in this world.

On another note, we got bunny pictures back today.  This is the only one I bought, but we had so much fun.  Enjoy!

Friday, March 11, 2011

And so it begins....

This past 1+ year has flown by.  And, it's only going to get worse.  I want to be able to remember everything.  All the big milestones.  The firsts.  The lasts.

So, the backstory.  Almost 14 months ago I gave birth to the most amazing little boy in the world and my entire life changed.  My priorities changed immediately.  He is the most important thing to me.
My labor was quick, but stressful.  It seemed like everything was going to go wrong that morning.  It started off with being induced, then on to meconium staining, him not turning in the right direction or dropping, the cord wrapped around his neck, and so on.  But, we'll save that for another post.

Soon after his birth, I became a single mom in a new town that I disliked more than anything.  We moved to Asheville, NC.  And, for anyone that knows me, you now that I hate snow and mountains and cold.  But, luckily, I found an amazing group of mommies to get me through some of the hardest times of my life.

On top of that, my parents decided to move to Hawaii.  They are the reason I came here.  I knew I needed some help to get back on my feet.  So, I did it.  My family is not close at all, but the fact that I came here to have them decide to move across the country is a little overwhelming.

A few months after getting to Asheville, I found an apartment.  My best friend at the time talked her parents into renting to me.  They have an awesome basement apartment.  Aidenn and I love the apartment, but the friendship dwindled.  She got angry because I very so nicely let her know that I couldn't have her babysit anymore due to Aidenn's allergies.  My child's health and safety is my only concern these days. If her husband's smoking is going to cause Aidenn to be sick constantly, then I'm going to take him out of that situation.  What mother wouldn't?  Well, I guess that wasn't understandable, and instead of talking to me about it, she dropped me altogether-which shows me we really weren't friends in the first place.

Then, on top of everything, I find out that I may not be able to have any more children.  That's right.  My world crashed down on me that day.  I want to have a little girl to dress up in tutus, oversized flower headbands, and everything pink one day.  I love my little boy and don't know what I would do without him, but I want a girl now.  So bad.  And, to find out that this may not be a possibility is just heartbreaking.  I cry every time I think about it.  Again, that will be another day and another post.

In the past year, I have had life-changing experiences.  From having the most amazing child possible, to making some of my best friends a girl could ask for, to having some incredibly stressful situations, I've been through it.  And, it's time to start sharing my experiences with others.  If someone can learn from the mistakes I've made and the decisions that weren't so great, then this is worth it.  Plus, I will be able to look back and have fond memories about my life from here on out.

So, that brings us to now.  I'm looking for a new job.  In a new city.  Away from everything I've ever known. With no one to turn to but a one year old that thinks I am his world.