Friday, March 11, 2011

And so it begins....

This past 1+ year has flown by.  And, it's only going to get worse.  I want to be able to remember everything.  All the big milestones.  The firsts.  The lasts.

So, the backstory.  Almost 14 months ago I gave birth to the most amazing little boy in the world and my entire life changed.  My priorities changed immediately.  He is the most important thing to me.
My labor was quick, but stressful.  It seemed like everything was going to go wrong that morning.  It started off with being induced, then on to meconium staining, him not turning in the right direction or dropping, the cord wrapped around his neck, and so on.  But, we'll save that for another post.

Soon after his birth, I became a single mom in a new town that I disliked more than anything.  We moved to Asheville, NC.  And, for anyone that knows me, you now that I hate snow and mountains and cold.  But, luckily, I found an amazing group of mommies to get me through some of the hardest times of my life.

On top of that, my parents decided to move to Hawaii.  They are the reason I came here.  I knew I needed some help to get back on my feet.  So, I did it.  My family is not close at all, but the fact that I came here to have them decide to move across the country is a little overwhelming.

A few months after getting to Asheville, I found an apartment.  My best friend at the time talked her parents into renting to me.  They have an awesome basement apartment.  Aidenn and I love the apartment, but the friendship dwindled.  She got angry because I very so nicely let her know that I couldn't have her babysit anymore due to Aidenn's allergies.  My child's health and safety is my only concern these days. If her husband's smoking is going to cause Aidenn to be sick constantly, then I'm going to take him out of that situation.  What mother wouldn't?  Well, I guess that wasn't understandable, and instead of talking to me about it, she dropped me altogether-which shows me we really weren't friends in the first place.

Then, on top of everything, I find out that I may not be able to have any more children.  That's right.  My world crashed down on me that day.  I want to have a little girl to dress up in tutus, oversized flower headbands, and everything pink one day.  I love my little boy and don't know what I would do without him, but I want a girl now.  So bad.  And, to find out that this may not be a possibility is just heartbreaking.  I cry every time I think about it.  Again, that will be another day and another post.

In the past year, I have had life-changing experiences.  From having the most amazing child possible, to making some of my best friends a girl could ask for, to having some incredibly stressful situations, I've been through it.  And, it's time to start sharing my experiences with others.  If someone can learn from the mistakes I've made and the decisions that weren't so great, then this is worth it.  Plus, I will be able to look back and have fond memories about my life from here on out.

So, that brings us to now.  I'm looking for a new job.  In a new city.  Away from everything I've ever known. With no one to turn to but a one year old that thinks I am his world.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for bravely sharing your experiences. I admire your strength and I'm super glad I've made your acquaintance. I also notice some really deep synchronicities in our experiences.